Sentient Sophrosyne

going outcrazy

2011-11-04T04:23:00.000-07:00

You know you're too busy when the blog gets the shaft. Haven't missed a month since...those eternally long 12 ones back in 07-08.

Even now I should be sleeping since my clock reads 4:32am but after finishing yet another assignment due this week, I thought I'd stay up and celebrate. We have 10 major projects due this month (maybe more) and that doesn't include the student projects, which in my case equals sound design and music for two video games.

Still haven't had a film to do, which I'm thinking will change next semester as my music hopefully continues to improve. Though I've refused a few because of short deadlines and/or terrible scripts.

I figure, why work for free on a project just for the sake of working. It's much harder to stay motivated if it sucks or if there's too much to do, which in my case is always true...such a slow writer.

I don't know how some cues can take me three days while others take me a fourth of the time. Still quite a ways from the industry standard of 3-4 hrs. for 2-3 mins. of music but at least I'm keeping up with the overall regimen. Miraculously.

SELF-PROGNOSIS: Exhausted and close to losing it. On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the least happy and 10 being the most happy, mine goes to 11...terribly happy.

my crystal fingers

2011-09-06T23:00:00.000-07:00

This is what it's all about.

After the hardest two weeks of my life, with the d as a close second, I realized that I finally belong here.

There were the sequencer troubleshooting issues, the loan issues, the work issues, the changing roomate issues, the money issues, the pc issues, the information overload issues.

Which inevitably led to...

The stomach in knots issues (lost 10 more lbs), the waking after four hours of "sleep" issues, the anxiety issues, and the feeling of complete inadequacy issues.

Once again, without my dear family and friends I'd be lost. My never-ending gratitude to you with all of my heart for your love and support. No matter what happens now, I know I can do this.

More importantly...that I still want to do it with a passion.

happy b-day jen, and other stuff

2011-08-13T01:27:00.000-07:00

She just turned 190 last night and still going strong. I just need her to last one more year...or at least make it to 200.

SC starts unofficially next week with four days of orientation. Really? Couldn't just add those days to class time?

I wrote three songs (horror, battle, chill) in less than two weeks for projects that could potentially pay out and provide future gigs.

Went to pick up my possibly-final paycheck at work and realized how much I enjoy not being there.

t-minus 7 days

2011-07-26T16:56:00.000-07:00

Don't think I've been this excited about Disneyland since Junior High. A sweet friend is treating me to a night at the hotel, except I think I'll be sleeping in the bathtub but I'm cool with it. I'll bring my rubber shark to keep me company...he he he.

I don't care what anyone says, California Soarin' is the best ride. It's a Small World does comes in a close second though... "Iiist und smol vurld aaafturrol," *sigh* gets my warm fuzzies everytime.

new site (music included)

2011-07-01T04:02:00.000-07:00

And here's the latest NEWS. I decided to keep my professional and private life separate, hence the name change. It's still me, promise.

Enjoy!

it's official: the University of Southern California

2011-06-02T12:01:00.000-07:00

I just found out that I've been given the amount I need for tuition as well as other living expenses. This means I won't have to work while going to school for the first time in my life.

I know how it happened and am extremely grateful to the people who've believed in me. And even to those who've only come and gone. Everyone has influenced my life in one way or another. You are the reason I'm here and I thank you:

Jerr - For being my best friend. Before the mission we were close. After the mission we were closer. Then music changed everything. I can't thank you enough for our unbreakable bond and some of the best memories of all time.

Jay - Golf, video games, food, music, and love. What else do I need? I couldn't ask for a better friend. Thank you for being here for me. Pebble beach...I promise.

Mari - Por todo tu amor y apoyo. Eres un angel de mujer. Siempre tendras un lugar muy especial en mi corazon.

Bro Clonts - Your influence has had a profound effect on my life. You have been a father figure to me and will always be regarded as the man who taught me how to be successful.

Sweet Bee - We've surfed the atmosphere. We've cruised and dived the ocean. We've biked the rock. Thank you for always putting a smile on my face.

Guapoooooo - For being there for me through some hard times. I'll never forget the ward, Quiznos, and Copper. You've been a great amigo. Thanks for the love.

Matt - We've flown off a cliff together and survived. Anything else from that should be no sweat. You brought me back to my high school days, in a good way.

Bogh - The experiences we shared in another world have been uniquely awesome. You were the support and love I needed in the mission. Hopefully one day our paths will cross again.

Marjaana - Sie oot paras tytto kun oon tunnut. Mie rakastan sua viela aika paljon ja toivon etta jonkun aijan voisime tavata jalleen.

Kervinen Perhe - Viela muistan kun tein sen tacos teille ja miten piditte niista. Ootte paras perhe Rovaniemella. Rakastan ja kaipan teita hirveasti.

Madison - My first love post-d. Not only did you make me feel young and alive, but you made me believe that it was possible to love again. Alas, it wasn't meant to be but I still think of you often and hope you're happy in your new life.

Katie - You are the most intellectual person I've been with and now I realize that we connected on a higher level. That in itself is a rare thing. We were good friends and I haven't forgotten what we shared.

Erin - When we first met, I had lost all self-esteem, motivation, and hope. I had been emasculated and you brought me back to life. You were exactly what I needed in those moments of disillusion and I will always be grateful.

Melinda - After a rough past together, I made the hard realization that I couldn't be where I am today without you. It would be a lie to say that I didn't love you and that we didn't share some great moments together. We both had our issues but I hold no grudges and wish you the best.

Raquel - You're my big sister and I love you. For all the good times we had growing up in Caji. For letting me drive the combi. For loving me like a son when I was born. For helping me out with whatever I need whenever I call. For your beautiful family.

David - You're my big bro and I love you. For the great times in Mexico. For teaching me a few things about VW's. For always giving me a hand with my lemons. For being another important father figure in my life. For your beautiful family.

Liliana - You're my little sister and I love you. For your passionate and unrelenting faith. For more great times in Mexico. For being sweet and loving no matter what. For helping me out with the short-lived business. For your beautiful family.

David R - La verdad es que siempre haz sido parte de la familia. Te he conocido desde los ocho años pero no fue hasta que tuvimos el business que crecio nuestra amistad y desde entonces haz sido como un hermano. Gracias por esa experiencia de trabajo. Se que me va servir mucho en mi vida profesional como compositor.

Pedro - Eres mi hermano que jamas he conocido. Talvez algun dia podremos vernos y hablar sobre la vida de mi padre. Por mucho tiempo te tuve rencor por no tratar de comunicarte conmigo sobre mi herencia que tomaste y luego por no responder a mi invitacion de boda. Pero todo eso ya no me importa y solo quiero conocerte hermano.

Memo - Por ser el hombre mas sabio que conosco. Haz sido una inspiracion muy grande. Tu amor por la musica me ha dado un proposito y tu conocimiento del mundo me ha asombrado pues cada vez que nos vemos, aprendo algo profundo del mistero de la vida.

Chacho - Eres mi primera inspiracion ya que contigo convivi mas que ninguno de mis tios. Yo te conoci cuando estabas desconectado del mundo pero ya me di cuenta que haz regresado y estas mejor que nunca. Jamas olvidare lo que me haz dado. Una mente abierta a la musica mas bella del mundo, en cualquier genero que este.

Gordo - El mas querido de los hermanos. Gracias por tu amor y apoyo, especialmente cuando recien llegue a mi vida nueva. Por todos los viajes que hemos tomado a los lugares mas bellos de Mexico y por los muchos que nos esperan. Y muchas gracias por el tape de musica con la que he soñado desde niño.

Abuelita - Por tener a diez hijos, incluyendo a mi madre querida. Por tus comidas deliciosas que me acuerdo de niño. Por tus dichos sabios. Por tu casa hermosa en la que tengo tantos recuerdos hermosos de mi infancia.

Wiwi - Por tu amor y apoyo que siento todos los dias. Por las vacaciones de verano en Vallarta. Por tu gusto en ropa tan esquisito. Ya sabes que eres y siempre haz sido mi tia preferida.

Rebe - Bebecus. Mi prima querida. Gracias por las carcajadas que nos dabamos de niños tomando agua en la terraza de la abuelita. Por las barbies. Por los recuerdos del mar. Por ser chingona con tu ejemplo, dandome animo para sacar mi carrera adelante.

The Fam - All of my nieces and nephews that I love so much. I wish I could be there to see you grow up and take you places to see the way my uncles did.

The Teachers - Mr Jones, Prof Little, Prof Hazelgren, Mackenzie, the Rev. You prove that being a good teacher means loving what you do and sharing that excitement with your students. Your impression has been felt and will be remembered.

The Books - Card, Trump, Brown, Orwell, Goldratt. Thank you for the words of wisdom that have helped shape my life.

The Music - Mozart, Reznor, Zimmer. There are so many more but you have been the most influential masters of the craft and I simply can't write enough thank you's in this world for what you've given me.

Adolfo - Padre. Donde estaras? Aunque no te haya conocido muy bien, te agradesco por haber querido a mi madre. Se que me quisiste pero el tiempo corto que tuvimos se perdio y solo me dejaste con pocos recuerdos de amor. Te enfocaste tanto en tu trabajo y en tu vida personal que te olvidaste de mi. Pero te escribo para decirte que eso esta en el pasado. Gracias por lo que pudiste darme. Siempre seras mi padre y te debo mi vida.

Madre - Mas que nadie, a mi querida Madre que ora por mi cada dia. Te doy las gracias de todo corazon. Por mis desayunazos, mis milanesas, mis tacos callejeros, y mi tres leches. Por darme la vida y por tu amor y apoyo incondicional. Tu vida ha sido la inspiracion de una musica bella escrita para ti. Eres el ejemplar mas grande de mi vida y siempre te amare. En esta vida, en la proxima, y por todas las eternidades.

la family

2011-06-01T02:02:00.000-07:00

Nothing quite like a weekend of nothing. Just the fam, the food, and good times.

the rapture is coming, it's coming, it's...gone.

2011-05-22T02:54:00.000-07:00

I'm holding out for December 21st...the Mayans obviously hated Christmas.

School: T-minus three months.

i don't want to set the world on fire...

2011-04-23T19:47:00.000-07:00

As of yesterday, I officially have four months before school starts up again. These will probably be the most important months of my future career as I have several projects to finish and even more to start.

One of these major projects involves SM and my unique skills as the producer/engineer, however—after explaining my school situation, they agreed (encouraged actually) to have me make two instrumental tracks that would be mix-friendly. One of the tracks would be given as a free mix and the other at the regular price with all of the proceeds going to the "save will" fund. Well, maybe "save" is the wrong word but it'll have to do for now until I find a more suitable replacement.

Another project involves possibly working on music for CLU's promotional videos. I have been told, "there's a good chance I could use your help. I'll keep in touch." It doesn't sound too promising as I've heard that line more than "Not tonight, I have a headache." Though it would be great if it worked out.

The latest project involves an opera-esque piece for my mom's unveiling next Friday. All real instrumental samples keeping rhythm to a harp. No synths, no percussion, which is a first for me. The piece (just under five minutes) has been completed and the lyricist/singer is finishing with the rest. If all goes to plan, we'll be able to record early next week so I can do the final mix by Wednesday/Thursday morning at the latest. It's going to be close but that's how I like it.

...i just want to start a flame in your heart.

Beautiful

and this...i think it's time to start the 'save will' fund

2011-04-04T15:07:00.000-07:00

Dear Will,

I am pleased to inform you that you have been approved for admission to the Graduate Certificate in Scoring for Motion Pictures and Television for the fall semester of 2011. You will soon receive official notification of your admission by mail from the USC Office of Graduate Admission.

Classes Begin - August 22, 2011

ESTIMATED COST OF ATTENDANCE
Academic Year 2011-2012
Graduate Certificate Program Scoring for Motion Pictures and Television

Tuition:
Flat rate tuition $42,162

Fees:
Individual Instruction $1,400
Orientation (one-time fee) $35
Student Health Service $488
Mandatory Health Insurance $1,109
Student Programming $71
Student Services $25
Norman Topping Student Aid $16

TOTAL $45,306

Congratulations on your admission to USC Thornton! If you have any questions, feel free to contact our office at (*)

Sincerely,

(*)
Director of Admission
USC Thornton School of Music

and of course, i get this today...

2011-04-04T13:58:00.000-07:00

Dear Will,

Thank you for your interest in shipboard employment with Royal Caribbean, Ltd. We have received your resume and would like to conduct a web cam interview via Skype on (*), Miami Florida, Eastern Time. My Skype user name is (*).

If the date and time are feasible for you, please reply to this email with Your Skype User Name.

I look forward to hearing from you and share this exciting career opportunity!

(*)
Global Shipboard Recruiter
Human Resources, Global Talent Acquisitions Dept.
Royal Caribbean, Ltd.

are you in yet? ...i hate that question

2011-04-04T12:55:00.000-07:00

Hi Will,

Since you scored the highest of everyone on the wait list, you are the 1st one in line. In recent news here, while this isn't official, one of the students who was admitted for fall 2011 contacted me recently and will not be able to attend. This means you would be able to take his spot, and have a chance to join us in the fall.

Again, it's not official until that student sends in his letter to decline the offer of acceptance, but if I were you I would contact the office of admissions at the Thornton School to find out the dates for this transaction.
I'm looking forward to seeing you in the fall. Congrats!

(*)
Director - Scoring for Motion Pictures and Television
USC Thornton School of Music

baby steps

2011-03-31T22:53:00.000-07:00

Dear Will:

Thank you for your application for admission to the USC Thornton School of Music. Due to the high number of very qualified applicants the program has reached capacity for the fall semester of 2011.

However, you performed very well on your audition and the faculty has recommended that your name be placed on a waiting list. You will be notified at a later date should space become available in the program.

If space does become available, a recommendation from the Thornton School of Music will be forwarded to the USC Office of Admission for consideration, along with your complete academic record, for admission to pursue the Graduate Certificate in Scoring for Motion Pictures and Television. If you would like your name to be removed from this waiting list, please inform us as soon as possible.

We encourage you in the meantime to complete your USC application file if you have not already done so. In the event that space does become available in the program, a complete USC application file will help to speed the process of finalizing admission.

Should you have any questions, feel free to contact the Thornton Admission Office at (*) or (*). We look forward to working with you through the admission process.

Sincerely,

(*)
Director of Admission
USC Thornton School of Music

everyone loves a good story

2011-03-22T18:19:00.000-07:00

That's what my old business teacher told me once. As I continue to think about the future, I can't help but notice how this less traveled road has affected me thus far. Times of happiness and disillusion. Apathy and impatience. I listen to so many others who are striving for the same thing. Sometimes they sound worse, more often, better. I feel like I have something to offer if only for a moment. When that passes, I'm left with simple sounds that—when re-played—mirror my struggle and momentarily fill the empty spaces. Though sometimes they feel like the only thing steadying my focus every time I listen.

I don't know what I have to look forward to some days. Part of me feels grateful for having a family and friends who care and support what I'm trying to do. I have a nice place and a decent job. The other part feels a rage of entitlement and simply wants more but doesn't know how or where to get it. It's moments like these when I hope I can live up to what I dream about. When I hope that my decision to continue in this path of obscurity makes the destination worth the trip. I still hope to be the best and work hard at it everyday. So if anyone ever has a story to tell about me, I hope it's a good one.

man crush on trent reznor

2011-03-08T15:29:00.000-08:00

That about sums it up.

this just in...

2011-02-25T10:11:00.000-08:00

The author of the "Sentient Sophrosyne" blog is reported to have grossed a little over $9500 in 2010. How will 2011 pan out for the eloquent mogul amidst this financial crisis? Stay tuned.

dr crazy or dub me crazy?

2011-02-03T01:07:00.000-08:00

THE LIST:

New CA plates - Check

First check for music specialty services - Sweet...

Scores submitted for 3 major opportunities (USC, BMI, Taxi) - Check

Driving and dispatching long hours - Check

School...again - Check/Pending

New CA number - Pending

B done for good - Really pending

New game including my tunes - Really really pending

New work from SM via Sony - ...speechless

back up back up cause it's on...

2011-01-21T01:23:00.001-08:00

For the first time since I left everything over a year ago, I have been offered by SM to edit new music for payment. A donation—really. The significance of the small amount, however, is monumental. It made me realize that my work is respected and appreciated enough to pave the way for my future in music. Also, I've recently been added to the team of composers in Boston after completing over one third of the soundtrack for their first pending title.

Earlier today I drove a very cool celeb to the Craig Ferguson Show. She used to be a server back in Jersey before she moved out here. After we shared a few choice stories of the restaurant days, she told me how important it was to not give up. She never thought she'd escape the life, and yet here she was in the back of my Escalade on the way to the very first late night interview of her career. Living proof that faith, hard work, and time (the three laws) make it happen. I felt the exact same way back at Market Street and yet here I am driving Escalades and limos while I scramble for time to edit music and compose. She got her big break. I'll get mine.

Work is constant. Sleep is rare. And I'm getting so close...

ciao mia bella italiana

2011-01-07T00:53:00.000-08:00

"Yo escuchaba chapotear en el barco los pies descalzos,
Y presentia los rostros anochesidos de hambre,
Mi corazon fue un pendulo entre ella y la calle,
No se con que fuerza me libre de sus ojos, me safe de sus brazos,
Ella quedo nublando de lagrima su angustia,
Tras la lluvia y el cristal" -Unknown

Hay momentos perfectos que se disfrutan como si fuesen los ultimos dias de una vida perdida. Momentos tan bellos e intimos, que permanecen inmovil en el lugar mas profundo del alma.

Asimismo, hay oportunidades que se pierden por descuido y solo nos queda de recurso el cerrar los ojos e imaginar como hubiese podido ser ese futuro deseado.

Por mas que quiera olvidar o finjir que nunca la conoci, no puedo negar lo que senti estando a su lado. Pero la arena perfecta sumio por el estrecho del cristal, dejando solo el polvo del pasado.

La tragedia mas grande del hombre es que sus recuerdos y esperanzas no existen en el tiempo real. Y que su presente es tan incierto como esa fuerza inestable que cega la mente con pensamientos caoticos, perdidos en un vacio sublime del corazon.

hmm...interesting

2010-12-22T14:05:00.000-08:00

Last night I had a dream that a major earthquake destroyed downtown LA. The dream was at night and I was on the roof of one of the buildings watching it all happen. There was a tall dark building that completely collapsed on its side and the US Bank building crumbled from the top down. Not sure about anything else, but it seemed real enough that it woke me up in a cold sweat. And I rarely remember my dreams.

lost and gone forever

2010-12-19T15:34:00.000-08:00

So far, on the list of celebs met and driven (in chronological order):

1. Tom Arnold

2. Billy Connolly

3. Owen Wilson

Hey d..... eat your heart out.

back at the beginning. sinking, spinning...

2010-12-04T12:00:00.000-08:00

My graduation ceremony for LARS took place yesterday morning. It was bittersweet because all of us were glad to be done but knew we wouldn't see each other for a long time—if ever. Still enjoyable however.

Of course, my predicament of having less funds than I had anticipated started settling into my mind shortly after leaving work last night.

And once again, I'm faced with the reality of my situation. I am depending on events out of my control that could lead to my delayed success or immediate failure. This prolonged ambiguity is literally graying my head on a daily basis.

...didn't turn out the way you wanted it, did it?

do you know who you are?!

2010-11-17T13:44:00.000-08:00

Yesterday marks a very cool day for me. I was able to take part in a session with John Powell. I brought the man a tall decaf latte from a Starbucks 15 minutes out running distance. Also ordered food for the whole scoring crew. Met his assistant and emailed her regarding a possible internship there.

Interesting thing, my soon-to-be former classmate ended his internship with John a couple weeks back and asked if I wanted to take his place. I declined because they needed two full days at the end of the week and I wasn't sure how that would work with the new limo thing. Yes it's official, today's my first day in the driving famous/rich people around business...whatevs.

Now that I have an "in," however, schedule flexibility could be an option and having made the connection from inside Sony seemed better than at a cold interview through a former intern.

Tomorrow I submit my application for SMC. After that, get everything ready for USC.

lucky 23

2010-11-14T03:18:00.000-08:00

The post is late but two weeks ago marks move number 23 since my birthplace at UCLA hospital back in '81. It only took me 22 moves before I came back home. Although I'd like to continue traveling around the globe, I really don't see myself anywhere else. Obviously an amazing job offer would be the one thing to detract me from staying in my beautiful hometown by the beach because I know being homeless wouldn't.

The new program I'll be attending at SMC seems promising though I have my heart set on USC. I mean, conducting my very own scores with live orchestras that play under Zimmer, Giacchino, Powell, Williams...seriously, nada que ver. But either way I have options. As far as work, I could have two very well paying part-time gigs as I wait for the Spring semester to start. Save up some cashish and drop the one with zero future as school kicks in for yet another year or so. Sounds like the nightmares I'd have of waking up thinking I was still in Finlandia but even that had a happy ending.

The only happy ending in this will be making enough to pay it all off. And that could be 5 to 10 best case scenario, 15 to 50 worse case scenario. But what about the doin' hard time scenario? It's like spatula spanking from the parents. Hurts like hell but it's only temporary and you got out of doing the dishes. Didn't you Jerr? Uhh, yes please I'll take option number two. Hit me again ike, and put some stank on it!

where's my beautiful love poem?!

2010-10-27T19:35:00.000-07:00

Aah…what would it be like,
To sleep all day and drink all night,
Pretending life’s good,
Yeah, everything’ll be alright.
Who cares about then,
It’ll work itself out,
Cause in the grand scheme of stuff,
It doesn't matter when, who, or how.
Today’s what counts,
A brand new day,
Wait, what time is it?

Oh well…

It’ll have to wait.

Jumala, siuna minun äiti

2010-10-19T22:52:00.000-07:00

I can't thank you enough for your love and support. You've always believed in what I can do and have raised me with the confidence and motivation to do it. Even now when I have nothing, you give me the hope I lack and a much needed helping hand.
Te quiero madre.

why regret a life unlived

2010-10-15T01:02:00.000-07:00

I'd like to dedicate this post to every guy around the globe, stuck in a miserable relationship yet decides to continue out of fear or convenience or both. Why prolong the inevitable? You gain nothing from pretending to care for someone. Your only out is to detach yourself from your dependency. If being alone is what follows, embrace it. Learn from it. And start over.

it's not over till it's...not over

2010-10-04T00:12:00.000-07:00

Frustrating as it may be, it's really the only way. Another possible year of school should everything line up accordingly. If it happens it happens. If not, I won't be that dissapointed but it would make life better, easier, and more interesting in the long run. Part of me is confident in my "skillzzz." Part of me doubts I have the talent to compete after learning about how little I know. This might help. It might not. So with this much uncertainty I might as well bet all that's left (not much) cause I could end up living happily ever after or wearing a hollow barrel for life.

...is here.

2010-09-15T01:04:00.000-07:00

Attend and aid in an ADR mixing session with Howard London...check

Lunch with Ethan Cohen and Jeff Bridges...check

Get the email I've longed for since I moved here from the nurse who loved me...check

Only way from here...

30 to 45?

2010-09-11T00:13:00.000-07:00

a)The time I'd have to wait for SM to happen...hypothetically speaking.

b)The time I'd spend in jail for beating my roomate.

c)The time I'd last with my next tagalong.

d)The time I'd consider as the golden years of a jaded old me.

all that noise and all that sound

2010-08-31T23:06:00.000-07:00

Today I met and shook hands with Tim Williams. Also met and had a few laughs with the director of the project he was working on called "Dolphin Tales." I saw Tim Simonec at work as well. Only the orchestrator to some of my favorite films and vgs, including but not limited to: Ratatouille, The Incredibles, and Medal of Honor. To actually be in the presence of a full orchestra with a conductor, a composer, an engineer, and the crystal clear sound of Neumann mics blasting through a Neve 88R was amazing to say the least. I'm still in shock...

It's my first day back at Sony but this time I'll be interning for their sound department and it'll probably be eight months before anything happens. No joke.

As far as everything else? Who knows. One's not getting funded and everyone's nervous. The other seems to be in limbo...probably due to funding as well.

In this economy, money is the reason I'm not making any. And still I keep on because of something more.

i don't miss you at all and i won't apologize... *itch

2010-08-28T02:35:00.000-07:00

Yes I did produce the mixpack for this app, yes I realize that it's for SG, and yes I am very proud of it.

...and totally redeem yourself

2010-08-18T21:51:00.000-07:00

Hi Will,

I'm glad to hear you're interested in the project as a whole rather than just your component of it. Although the website hasn't been updated recently (we're planning to seriously revamp it soon), rest assured that the rest of the project is moving apace. There is still some work to be done on music (as you know), programming, and level-building, but we're hoping that those will all wrap up around the same time.

I'd also like to let you know that your outstanding performance has not gone unnoticed. ****** has always spoken very highly of you and your work, and I've been very impressed by the pieces of yours that she's passed along.

****
Boston, MA

leo will eventually conclude that pisces wasn’t the right person after all. pisces could swim away in a sea of tears

2010-08-17T17:08:00.000-07:00

Still no sign of anything definitive with SM. "Soon" is all I keep hearing. This time however, I have a more positive outlook. It's when not if and then it's smooth sailing...or so I hear. It will be nice to finally get paid for playing with famous people's music.

I also sent out my resume to the student services representative for a crack at being some world renown composer's b and realized that I have a lot more to offer now than I had realized. Redundant? I hope so. Because it's made me realize the realization of my unrealized future. Seriously though, my favorite excerpt in the entire mesh of text:

Unknown #1 June 2010 - Present
Mixpack Producer/Intern: Santa Monica, CA
 In charge of editing stems from artists into 30 second loopable tracks for new mixing software
 Have produced mixpacks of two songs a piece from artists such as: Filter, Breaking Benjamin, Mix Master Mike, Selena Gomez, Shinobi Ninja, Empire ISIS & Asteroids Galaxy Tour

Unknown #2 Apr 2010 - Present
Composer/Intern: Boston, MA
 Part of a team of composers working on new video game projects for smart phones
 Have composed/produced over 20 songs for the current title “...” to be released

Good times!

So far I have less than a ben to my name, just fb'd, and have no idea how I'm going to make it next month on my paltry and please-for-the-love-soon-to-be temporary salary. Who knew being a valet could produce massive headaches on an hourly basis. Not a fan of sports or catholicism in general but I could use a hail mary right about now.

the 3 million dollar ideas

2010-07-24T00:31:00.000-07:00

Million Dollar Idea #1: The future of 3D lies in the development of stereograms as way to watch film and video games without the use of specialized glasses. It would have to be created beyond the nano scale of pixelation in order to be perceived as a real 3D image. Just as 3D sound has been developed by tricking the brain into thinking its source is omnidirectional, so can the eyes be tricked into believing 3D from a 2D source. The only difference in viewing 3D is that it takes training in order for it to become second nature as opposed to just listening in 3D which is cerebrally automatic.

Million Dollar Idea #2: A cream pot made to look like a cow. The only way to get cream/milk out of the pot would be through the utters of the cow which would have to be milked by physically squeezing down on the rubberized teats. An occasional tail swoosh and hind leg jerk would be the icing on the...pie?

Million Dollar Idea #3: Tagalong repellent.

bloody and drowning...with sharks

2010-07-05T22:31:00.000-07:00

All my chips are in. My cards are face down and unknown to anyone including myself. The only thing I have is a bluff. No ace up my sleeve. No fixed deck. Nothing that would even be considered a cheat. I have an aid, but it's not as reliable as I thought. One way out and nothing left to lose, except everything. There's more riding in this game than I'd prefer. What choice do I have. I'd be happy with two pairs, but it's going to take a royal flush to get me out of this mess.

loosen the strap with two metal hands...

2010-06-25T05:21:00.000-07:00

Considering I can't knock my roomate out, posting is the next best thing. I finally filed a report so this could mean that he gets the boot. Or not. Another six months of this bs is making the back of my car look really nice. It's just sleep anyway, who needs it.

the goal

2010-06-06T13:37:00.000-07:00

This week was an important step closer to breaking through the wall. I received my very first contract with the company I'm interning for out in Boston. Unfortunately, it wasn't the contract I expected but rather a formal agreement for internship status and the intellectual property of the songs I've composed thus far, which as it were, belongs to the company. So far the finished songs total 13 and there are still 4 more to be written and produced. That also includes songs we've remixed and improved from other composers in the company.

It was a heavy blow to my business persona which demands full payment for services rendered. In the video game music business, however, things work much differently - especially without any experience or placement of music in anything related to the industry. Working for free is the only way to get the credits required for other more predominant companies to take notice. Fortunately, the contract can be terminated at any time by either party and once the first project has been finished (set for release in July), there is a strong possibility for employment. So there is a bit of light seeping through the cracks after all.

the three laws contd

2010-05-27T10:50:00.000-07:00

The law of Attraction is based on asking. You wish for something you want wholeheartedly, typically through prayer, though some people prefer asking the "forces of the universe." Whatever works for them is fine. The act itself is the important thing because it gets you into a state of mind that is susceptible to attaining (or becoming attracted to) what is desired. A goal is a common example of this as well.

The law of Action is the key. As stated in holy writ, "Faith without works is dead." There is a fairly popular book in particular that fails to mention this step. It states more or less that wishing deeply for something is the only thing required to attain it. The problem with this is that the average person lacks the faith strong enough to get something simply through desire alone.
A great example would be winning the lottery. You can wish all day, every day, to win the lottery but unless you go out and actually buy a ticket it will never happen. In fact, the chances of someone buying a winning ticket, knocking on your door, and simply handing it over to you are practically non-existent. There are other forces as well that would prevent us from getting what we want. Indolence, fear, skepticism, and negative external influences being a few of the more powerful ones. However, you do have a greater chance of winning the lottery by hoping with your entire being to win, purchasing the ticket, and repeating this step over and over until you actually win.*
Which leads into the third law.

The law of Averages. It is as simple as doing something repeatedly until your goal is achieved. You might fail five or five thousand times at getting what you want but each failed time will teach you something new and useful. It will be your guide to the next attempt of what not to do and eventual success will follow. I remember reading somewhere a while back that it takes about 10,000 hours of practice to become a master at anything. So, 365 days a year equals 8760 hours. Not accounting for sleep which takes up around 8 hours each day, that number goes down to 5840 hours a year of conscious time. Obviously no one can work 16 hour days on their passion or desired thing, so a conservative 1460 hours each year would get you to your goal in approximately 6.85 years. Thus a solid 7 years of practicing 4 hours everyday would turn anyone into a master at getting what they want.

Six months ago I left everything behind to start a new life for myself. It was the most difficult thing I've done since the divorce. However, had I stayed in either situation my life would have been much different now, and not in a good way. I look back and realize that I let myself settle into a routine that seemed easier than pursuing my dream of music. I know I'm meant for greater things and anyone else out there who feels the same is welcome to join me...just follow the three A's.

*I do not endorse, participate in, nor have any affiliation with; the lottery. It is a mere example used for illustrative purposes only.

the three laws

2010-04-26T09:03:00.000-07:00

My latest moment of clarity has been while using/feeling needed for my talents. A total devotion to music has created purpose, while giving me a bit of a self-esteem boost as well. The new company I'm interning with is based out of Boston and specializes in in-depth and full length video games for smart phones. The music projects have been challenging to say the least but the discovery of new techniques in school is being applied instantly to the new songs I create. The investment of time and effort I put in returns a deeper understanding of something I love, thereby creating a better result. This is obvious in any aspect of life, but I honestly believe that there would be happier people in the world if they simply devoted themselves to one thing they're passionate about or have always wanted to do.

Though I'm not an expert on self-improvement, I have had enough real-life experiences and situations in the rough span of 30 years than most have had their entire lifetime. One day I'll dedicate an entire post to it all, but today is not that day. What I've learned thus far is that true happiness is ruled by the three laws which are applicable to anything desired: 1. Attraction 2. Action 3. Averages

stay blogged...

samsonite...

2010-03-30T16:17:00.000-07:00

And a cold is all that's left. It's better this way.

red and green

2010-03-21T09:57:00.000-07:00

There's something to be said about common interests and relatively similar pasts. We've lived a lifetime in the rough span of a quarter century, at least from our perspective. There is a certain maturity attained from what we've gone through. We have traveled the world and have yet to travel even further. We enjoy originality, particularly in food. Artistically driven and inspired to make our mark. This could get interesting.

½ step forward, ∞ steps back

2010-02-27T19:19:00.000-08:00

I wonder how long this will continue. I feel lost at times. A bit jaded by the past. Momentarily confused. Slowly slipping away from my natural state of contentment. Nothing seems to fill the void except the illusion of a desired future. Easy to see the faults, while the qualities remain unnoticed. How many more deterrents await.
When will it end.

lock & load

2010-02-01T23:00:00.000-08:00

Amazing things can happen from the inside.

more beautiful than my imagination

2010-01-23T00:47:00.000-08:00

Since I have now received the official email stating my intern status as active, I have a gift for anyone who loves the oddities of sound. To feel its full effect, headphones are required for this bizarrely exquisite aural experience. Enjoy

if you never try then you'll never know

2010-01-13T17:15:00.000-08:00

Looks like I'll be the new intern here. Of course, I'm stoicali overwhelmed. I clearly remember passing by this place as a kid and wondering what it'd be like to "live" there. It only took me about 23 years to come back and ease my childhood curiosity. Even if I do live there, I'm pretty sure I'd be ok with that.

happy new (hopefully less crazy) year? nah...andale

2010-01-01T20:59:00.000-08:00

Where to begin. Can't exactly describe how much I love being in Cali despite the traffic, the constant sirens, and-my pers fav-the crazies. The month long term at school was amazing and I believe I got an A in both the theory and lab classes. One might be an A- which for the first time in my life would be devastating...who knew?

Enjoyed Christmas in Tj with my Uncles and Cousins. It was particularly nice to sit down with one of the three musical mentors in my life, my Uncle Memo, who owns the largest CD collection I've ever seen, and just listen to music. To talk about how much it moves us and how to create it using alternate forms of inspiration. Nothing herbal or hallucinogenic, but through very simple and enlightening methods outside of conventional thinking.

Here's the crazy fun part: I came back to my apartment a few days after Christmas to find a bottle of "Black Velvet" whiskey half empty-or half full depending on your bias-chillin' on my roommate's desk. He stumbled in a few minutes later and sat down at his pc while he polished off the entire fifth of the nastiness. At three in the morning, after keeping me awake with incessant random monologuing/singing/screaming and personal space invasion through punching and kicking, I finally grabbed him by his leg, dragged his belligerent drunk ass out of the studio and locked the door. The peace lasted for about four hours until I woke up to a loud thumping on the door. As I opened it, I saw my roommate shoeless and shirtless with eyes wide open like he'd seen a ghost and quickly uttered, "I got attacked by a pterodactyl." At the moment, I was pobr but after explaining the story to a few friends and later on to my roommate-who of course, has zero recollection of the entire event-I found it rather amusing. Particularly when he wrote on his wall with a permanent marker whilst heavily intoxicated, and I quote, "It's not my fault I'm made of metal," "Pea sandwiches are where it's at," and "Details are important to me, but I'm not a homo." Needless to say he's vowed to never drink again, he has to paint the wall again, and we're getting along again. Win, win, win.

The New Year was spent in the O.C. with an old friend I made while cruising the Western Caribbean so long ago. It was a huge group from her singles ward that met up at a very very nice place out in bfe, really a house with its own zip code. Even the swimming pool had a bridge to walk across it and oh so nice. Lots of tagalongs at the party but I was in no mood for cookies. They were knockoffs anyway.

Went to Laguna Beach which was the first time in a long time that I had set foot on some sand and listened to the waves crashing down. It felt like home again. Later I was graciously invited to Cafe Rio, a U fav now in the O.C. How ironic, I live in U for seven years without an In N Out and the very month I move to SoCal is the month one's placed close to where I used to live. And this is the first Cafe Rio's second month in Cali, which so happens to be the month I moved here. Now I have both, sweeeeet.

At the moment, I'm surviving due to the charity and goodwill of family and friends, to which I am extremely greatful. I'll be finally starting my new job next Monday selling invisible shields for phones and such at the same ghetto mall in which I was selling the overpriced chocolates. In fact, that awful job lead me to this new and improved job which sounds awful but is much better than the old job or no job at all. Besides that, school will be starting up next Wednesday and I have never been so anxious, waiting for anything of educational consequence since my last co-ed P.E. class in high school.

I(heart)LA

SN: Post #100 & 5 Year Blog

LARS update

2009-12-03T07:10:00.000-08:00

Well, I have less than ten in the account plus a week's supply of food for the month. And I've never been so excited to be anywhere else in my life. A little stressed, but happy.

moved in but not settled, yet

2009-11-15T12:40:00.000-08:00

So much to talk about and yet I had to force myself to write this. Probably because of my financial situation. It seems to be forcing me into a state of distress and constant restlessness. The job search is scarce and the open positions are meager at best with a barrage of willing candidates. Of course, I'll take anything for now.

Besides that, all seems to be moving right along. School starts next week. My first week here I went to a music convention that opened quite a few doors for me in the video game music industry. I even received a very unexpected yet highly positive email from the guy who oversees composers for the top video games in the market. It was definitely the highlight of my crazy and discouraging week.

Another highlight was seeing Jason, Amy and their cute lil' kneebiters. Played Burnout 'till late and had some great laughs...ah the memories. Also spent some time with my Uncle Ricardo and his family last night. Played them some of my music, which they enjoyed. Talked about grilling some carne asada and heading to Rosarito to see his new place. It was all so relaxing and reminded me that I'm not alone in this crazy endeavor of mine.

it should be alright in the longrun

2009-10-17T09:55:00.000-07:00

Today I give my two weeks. I'm actually going to miss working there. Unlike the other employments I've held in el armpito, this one was enjoyable, and of course I leave right as I get the schedule I want. I leave just as I find the best stylist. I leave without saying a word to the girl scouts and their damn cookies.

When I left Mexico at 17 I had an awesome job, an awesome girl, and an awesome life. But had I stayed, the awesomeness would've faded in time and I would've missed the experiences (+ & -) that made me see the world and grow up.

In 17 days I drive down to face an uncertain yet hopeful circumstance. My only comfort is in knowing that something new awaits. Irrelevant whether it's good/bad because I suppose I'm used to it by now. All I can do is believe that what I want is within reach, and hope that what I'm doing will get me there.

it's a new vegetable...ah aah ah ah

2009-10-04T12:04:00.000-07:00

Exactly 30 days from today I'll be cruising down to Cali. My top three spots (among many others of course) will be In-N-Out, Taconazo (SB), and Kosmos. As soon as I get there I will move into my new place, chill a few days, go to a music convention, look for a job, and get ready for school. In preparation I need to fix up my car, either sell or move my furniture, and enjoy as many tagalongs as I possibly can.
I love cookies, so sue me.

Driving around SL seems to have a different vibe now that I'll be leaving. I can't help but feel a bit of pre-departure nostalgia. Part of me would like to come back one day but the other part finds it highly doubtful, however visiting's ok.

Interesting to see how the next few years'll pan out.

it's official: the Los Angeles Recording School

2009-09-09T16:41:00.000-07:00

It all started on a Saturday brunch while I visited my mom a couple weeks ago. Though we'd spoken about it before, it finally made sense to take the next big step in my life. To follow what I've always been naturally inclined to do. Compose and produce on a professional level. I've been doing it seriously for the past three years and not so seriously for much longer.

The fear of moving is undeniable, however it's offset by my current fruitless situation. A nine month program to become a "Recording Engineer" awaits. My entrance date is November 23rd, which gives me less than two months since I'll be leaving earlier that month to find a job and possibly a place to live.

Leaving my unwanted past behind will be somewhat of a relief, though the few close friends I've made as well as the fam will be missed. I've moved my whole life so I'm pretty used to it by now.

I can't deny that I'm excited to finally make something out of myself. To be in a profession that I will actually look forward to every day of my adult life. Cheers to my future.

when it rains it pours...no really

2009-08-21T15:00:00.000-07:00

Recently, I've been given several boxes of tagalongs for some reason and the temptation of indulging is too much to handle. I could use some will-power (no pun intended) and simply throw them away but then that would be a sin, according to my mother. On the other hand, partaking of those scrumptiously delectable cookies in massive amounts would be insatiably divine to say the least. Yes, I would want more and more y mas and I wouldn't stop until the last empty box. And yet, I probably wouldn't stop there either. I'd find a way to get more even though the season for cookies is obviously over.
The choice is.

all the love in the world

2009-08-01T11:35:00.000-07:00

"Hi *,
You're a very * */*. The * were pure * * with beautiful * and in the case of * several unexpected * to the *, very in keeping with its *.
You have a * * ahead of you!"

One day when I can I will. And yes, you will be pobr :)

can i just fast-forward about 5 years?

2009-07-09T23:04:00.000-07:00

It's interesting how many detours I've had on my way to my supposed professional destination. How much patience does it take? When will it end? If I ever find what I need, will it be enough?

I've taken the appropriate action and am still at a loss. My only iota of hope lies in what I love to do. If that fails, then the future truly looks bleak.

Something needs to happen. Soon.

the bill

2009-06-18T15:10:00.000-07:00

I received the highest tip (ever) off one table of five people this afternoon. The guy was a really cool local business owner without the slightest hint of hauteur. It reminded me of how a long time ago I decided to be just as cool and generous when I'm well off. It's nice to be nice.

tap tap peace

2009-06-08T10:45:00.000-07:00

My bank has done a great service for me. Due to my timely payments on the account I have, they gave me this month without requiring payment. It seems as though people have been having difficulties making their payments due to the economy and I think my bank is the only one that's helping out. Which brings me to my theory on future "excellent" credit. I believe that so many people (particularly the new generation) will default on payments and declare bankruptcies so often, that all it will take to actually have excellent credit will be to have never missed a payment no matter how small.

No wonder Wamu went under. Ha!

short-lived .

2009-05-31T09:37:00.000-07:00

Back to square one. How ironic. Out of all of them over the years, she was the most mature about it.

simply add road rash and a hint of love

2009-05-22T17:05:00.000-07:00

Last night I took a nasty spill on my long board. I was going down a hill and crouched all the way while going very fast. All I remember was my board wobbling and that did it. My left hip hit the pavement, followed by my head, followed by my left arm and hands. When I got up all my knuckles were bleeding and my left arm was bright red. I scraped off some hair on my head but luckily the spot was small.

She later came over and dressed my wounds. Such a sweetheart... even while she sprayed peroxide on my arms and hands.

I went to bed thinking nothing of it since I didn't have nausea, a headache, or felt like passing out. Woke up this morning shaking in a cold sweat and attempted to take a hot shower, when I began to feel light headed. I tripped and fell on the tile floor several times before I made it in the shower and while I showered I had to sit while the light headedness continued.

Finally dried off after an hour and went upstairs to tell my landlord that I needed a ride to the hospital. The ride felt two hours long even though it was 20 minutes at most, and I developed a headache that progressively got worse.

I went in and the first question was had I worn a helmet. No. They took me in to get a cat scan and after an hour or two told me I was fine. Hmmm, really? Ok. And thanks for all the fish.

She stopped by and took care of me some more. I am definitely the luckiest guy I know.

such a nichesist!

2009-05-15T03:06:00.000-07:00

Working two jobs now. One low-end at night. One high-end in the morning. Doing the business on the side whenever an event (public or private) is due. Music. Girlfriend. At least school's lost and gone...forever.

It all seems too much, but it's exactly what I need. The light at the end is getting brighter the closer I get. Just a few more steps? Or will I trip and fall again. No, not this time. I'm sprinting there and nothing will get in my way.

a note to Him

2009-05-12T13:42:00.000-07:00

I've never done this but there is so much to be grateful for I simply can't hold it in. I am so thankful to You for the inspiration, for the motivation, for the love, and for the opportunity.

Thanks for everything.

payback's a what?

2009-05-05T14:26:00.000-07:00

I knew the time would come. Now you want this favor from me. After all that's happened. Well, it won't come cheap. When you're ready, I'll send you my bill. And you're not going to like it.

my so-called friends

2009-04-30T22:01:00.000-07:00

Since I have to make every effort to keep the "friendship" going, I'd prefer to just end it once and for all. Never been a real fan of one sided relationships. They always end anyway. I know you're reading so consider this my resignation to you. Have a nice life. I don't need fake friends regardless of how much they say they miss my friendship. Yes, I've been reading yours, too.

...

2009-04-28T12:23:00.000-07:00

I've got the world on a string,
Sittin' on a rainbow,
Got the string around my finger,
What a world, what a life, ...
I've got a song that I sing,
I can make the rain go,
Anytime I move my finger,
Lucky me, can't you see, ...
Life is a beautiful thing,
As long as I hold the string,
I'd be a silly so and so,
If I should ever let go,
I've got the world on a string,
Sittin' on a rainbow,
Got the string around my finger,
What a world, man this is the life, hey now, ....

pics from monday april 13th

2009-04-21T12:22:00.000-07:00

not all bees are sweet

2009-04-19T18:41:00.000-07:00

So I had Honey Nut Cheerios this morning and was unpleasantly surprised. I remember how good they were when I was a kid. Were my taste buds too naïve? Were they good and now they suck? Or have they always sucked? Because I couldn't even finish the bowl.
I've never thrown a full box of cereal away...guess there's a first for everything.

i waited a long long time

2009-04-14T21:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we had our taco stand trial run and it went fairly well. The two main things we noticed reinforced by the useful feedback: #1 some of the meat needs to be prepared for 45 minutes to an hour before serving to keep the lines short and #2 leaner meat is not only better (obviously) but will keep people coming back.

Our first event will be May 2nd where the true test of having too much food or not enough will be determined. Considering our limited freezer storage, too much meat will go to waste and eat up our profit. Not enough on the other hand, will leave our money-making potential high and dry. The only real advantage is that it'll be a one day event and we'll be able to calculate more efficiently what we'll need for the next set of events that await.

Overall, I felt happier than I have in a while simply forgetting about anything or anyone else. Free and focused. There was also a sense of satisfaction for what we had accomplished, as well as in the professional manner we had organized and presented ourselves, noticed by all who attended. Something will come of this.

eat the fruit, kiss the snake goodnight

2009-04-02T06:02:00.001-07:00

I had another dream about you, or should I say nightmare. You seemed so sweet, playful and caring just like in the beginning. It was all a lie. Everything I've heard so far (post hell), leads me to believe that you had your own hidden agenda. How could you've attempted at a permanent connection unbeknownst to me? My only guess is that you did it to have unlimited financial support. You truly disgust me. I thought people like you only existed in hearsay stories. So besides the lies, the childlike vindictiveness and apathy toward physical contact, I'd say you have a lot going for you...

One day my thoughts will be flooded by someone I love, and you won't even be a distant memory. Nonetheless, I wish you the best.

sunshine from a distance

2009-03-28T07:18:00.000-07:00

It's interesting to me how people respond to something new or unusual. Yesterday, for example, I applied to a nice restaurant with the expectation of walking in, filling out the app, and walking out. I hadn't shaved in a few days and was looking semi-homeless. After filling out the app, I was introduced to the gm and shortly thereafter was invited to the bar area where the interview took place.

The first thing I did as soon as we sat down was ask questions. Mostly about the gm's association with the company as well as a few personal questions. I could tell the gm was taken back a bit by my unusual approach since we were clearly having a conversation and not an interview. And as it turns out, I was hired on the spot. The pile of filled out apps that took me all night is still sitting in the car.

My point is that the gm, who's been with the company for eight years, has probably had very few (if any) interviewees who actually cared about what the gm had to say. A question-answer session was most likely what that gm had been used to all that time. My personal experience in what I've done these short 27 years is that a different approach to anything usually leaves a better and more respectable outcome, whether it's immediate or in the distant future.

The road less traveled will make all the difference.

i still dream about music...is that normal?

2009-03-26T13:39:00.000-07:00

Well, here I am again sitting in front of a pile of apps for employment. All restaurants, since that is apparently the only job for which I am suited. The business (final name agreed upon is Guanato's *Taco Factory* Guanato's is short slang for Guadalajara) is getting closer to begin but not close enough to pay the bills. At least being a server is temporary and not a life-long career.

Having all this free time, however, has proven worth my while. I've been able to compose some pretty sweet musical pieces in the past few days, one classical piano and one electronic. Both of which I am very proud and would've never been able to do otherwise. Also had time to polish old songs in the works and added finished tracks to my fairly juicy repertoire. Thus far, it's been a musically productive week and as much as I would love to do it on a continual basis, I simply need cash. Perhaps one day it will pay dividends.

If I didn't have the business to look forward to, I would've moved to Cali for music connections even if I had no clue on how to do it. Maybe there are more server jobs there anyway. It is something that I think about if all fails here which is less likely, but I've learned through all of life's bs that a backup plan is nice to have.

For now, I'm sure I'll have plenty of apps to cramp up my hand for a few hours.

my new friend

2009-03-17T22:27:00.000-07:00

When someone finds themselves in a particularly lonely situation, strange things begin to happen. For example, Tom Hanks in the Fed Ex promotional "Cast Away" decides to converse with a volleyball marked by his bloody hand print. Wilson (as he so called it) becomes his best friend and sole confidant. Obviously with no one else on the island, he didn't really have a choice. He had to either talk to an inanimate object or go completely insane. Although my solitude is self-induced, it is rather necessary in order for me to have some control over my current environment. The side effects however have proven difficult to say the least. Yet, there is a lighter side that relates to Mr. Hanks' acting experience.

About two weeks ago give or take a few days, I noticed a spider in the upper corner of my shower. Seems he or she found a nice little spot in which to hang out. I'm not exactly sure what he or she eats and how he or she has been able to survive off of shower dew. The shower itself is a box of tile with a glass door so I definitely give him or her props for climbing all the way up and webbing a nest in which to chill. In fact, because spiderman's real name is peter parker and because he or she has simply parked there permanently, I figure "parker" is a good name for my new androgynous arachnid amigo.

I was a bit apprehensive at first thinking parker might jump out and bite me for no reason other than fear of being killed by what appears to be a fur engulfed giant. Perhaps he (Yes I've decided, male) thinks that all giants, furry and non-furry alike, are a strange breed of spider killers. Maybe he grew up with images of his parents smashed by a shoe or a broom or a martha stewart magazine. Whatever animosity he might have toward giants, he seems to keep to himself in his little shower niche.

It wasn't until a few days ago that I decided to strike up a conversation with parker. He mostly listens, though I've seen a few leg shakes after I ask how his day was. It may sound ridiculous to anyone in their right mind but the more I think about it, the less crazy I feel. Like wilson, parker is something to lighten things up. I wonder though if in the after life I'll ever get talk to him in one way or another and ask what he thought of me and my willingness to friendly co-exist in the shower that one time so long ago. Will we laugh about it? Will he tell me what he thought when I sang or rapped while he chilled in his niche? Or will it simply be a meaningless interaction that never took place? It's meaningful to me but perhaps that's not enough for a postmortem reunion. I remember somewhere in the scriptures saying that we'll account for everything we have come in contact with, from animals to the earth itself. I can't remember the exact quote but it made me think that insects must be included in the accountability list as well. I just hope mosquitoes, roaches, and ants don't really count because I hate all three and have killed several over the years.

Parker on the other hand will remain in the shower as long as he likes. I even told him that if he has any enemies to send them to my room so I can "take care of 'em." Take 'em tuda mattresses or make 'em sleep widda fishes. So to speak.

cookies...cookies!...c o o k i e s ! ! !

2009-02-25T01:29:00.000-08:00

Girl scout cookies are so deceivingly scrumptious. I especially enjoy the samples that are strategically handed to you, knowing full well that you'll buy a box or two or five after one taste. Tagalongs have always been a personal favorite, the perfect blend of peanut butter and chocolate on a sinful shortbread cookie.

I wondered what would happen if I was told I couldn't purchase a box of my own after the sample. I'd probably ask, Why do you Torture me with these Freakishly delicious cookies only to tell Me that you 2 girls (they always come in pairs) were just Kidding about selling them? It's a fairly reasonable question considering you go door-to-door handing out samples without boxes to sell.

I say if you have something that good you should make sure your inventory can handle my order. If not, don't even bother ringing the doorbell.

a eugoogly to my 10 year old friend

2009-02-22T18:05:00.000-08:00

My 10 year old oakleys past away yesterday. The frame finally snapped and the lens came right out. It was a sad time for me considering I haven't kept and used any material thing as often for such an extended time. These sun glasses were as much a part of me as my ipod or excedrin.

There was a deep connection to the natural design of these glasses because they reminded me of my past. Back in '99 when I worked at harvard square and swore I'd never go back to the food industry. Well here I am 10 years later, cursed for swearing in superlatives which was witnessed solely by my oaks because they're the only ones who've remained with me until now.

It was a huge loss for me and I couldn't help feeling a bit nostalgic, thinking how everything comes and goes so quickly leaving only memories as evidence. So, I did what anyone would do when coping with a loss, I went shopping. They were twice as much as my first pair but ten times cooler. The void has been filled.

To the next 10!

cut or file? cut.

2009-02-17T09:16:00.000-08:00

You are exactly what I needed, when I needed it. I know it sounds selfish, but you helped me regain my self-esteem as well as the confidence I had lost. The time we spent flew by faster than the time I spent in hell. I could never thank you enough for bringing me back to life.

funny story

2009-02-07T11:48:00.000-08:00

So, some of you bloggers who know Pavlov (aka Bronson, Marcus, Nate, etc) may recall the story of "Sloppy Seconds." After a halo party last night, Mr. Seconds asked if I wanted to be set up with his girlfriend’s friend. I declined of course, since I currently believe that most if not all women are inherently evil, money hungry, and cold hearted. His response to my disinterest was, “She's cool dude, I’ve made out with her.”

Chips and dip for halo party: $10.86

Money spent on gas to go to bfe for the halo party: $4.17

Having Sloppy Seconds tell me he’s made out with a chic he’s trying to set me up with: Priceless

what's wrong?

2009-01-24T11:48:00.000-08:00

I really dislike this question. It is second only to "what are you thinking about?" which is the mother of all questions that can alter my mood from chill to superfly tnt. I "dislike" the first, but definitely hate the second which is really the first on my list. I love pretzel day.

Why does something have to be wrong if I'm quiet or pensive. Granted, I'm normally in a good mood and very little upsets me but can't I have a bad day now and then without being bombarded with "what's wrongs?" I keep to myself when I'm having one of those special days which doesn't affect anyone anyway.

Does anyone really care to know what's wrong? Really? No. It's like asking "how are you?" I don't really want to know but when you say "good" it's enough. When I respond to "what's wrong?" with "nothing," it's just not enough. It's never enough. Is there a genetic code that states if nothing is wrong with a person you must harass the hell out of them until they tell you every detail? Right next to if you ask "how are you?" and they answer "good" you can continue with your day. I'm sure right below that there's a double (s)helix with "what are you thinking about?" written all over it. There is no escape from that question. Ever. That's why it's numero uno.

Basically, my mind is like a cow eating grass. The page is blank and when someone asks "where's the grass?" I simply explain "the cow ate it." When they ask where's the cow? I retort with "well, the cow's not gonna sit around with no more grass to eat."

graduated and done. pshhht, what's your 20?

2009-01-12T15:42:00.000-08:00

Today was the first day of school for most of the populace, ages ranging between 5ish and 30ish. I had no idea how many actual years it took me to finally be done with my scholastic subsistence. After some strenuous calculation—considering my many places of dwelling—I came up with a total of 19 years give or take a few months.

Nineteen years of school. It sounds like a prison sentence. And it kind of felt like one as well. The blissful relief of never having to sit through pointless and boring lectures, or endless tests, or ever having to do homework again is immeasurable.

I honestly believe that graduation should be celebrated with the utmost generosity in gifts as well as acts of kindness. It is after all, the celebration of a 15 to 25 year battle of wits against the ultimate foe which eventually turns friendly—intellectualism. Not even birthdays, holidays, or anniversaries (unless they’re for 20+ years…even so, they don’t end) should be celebrated with as much enthusiasm as a bachelor’s graduation. It is a distinguished award that shows the willingness to conform as have the rest of the distinguished awardees, left only with a stack of debt and a single piece of paper.

My lack of interest kicked in mid-sophomore year and it only went downhill from there. I should say, my realization that regurgitated yottabytes of useless information expected to be retained and later re-regurgitated on paper only to be forgotten within the hour, turned my views of the once respected and institutionalized form of learning into a complete joke.

However, amid my constant struggle over conforming to the system so eloquently branded as “college,” I have gained more than I may think I have. Overall, I’d give it a C+. My career has given me a focal point that was previously blurry while in school. It’s the man in me that has to finish one thing and then move on to the next.
Multi-tasking kills brain cells.

The question now is where am I and where do I go from here? Well after two years of heaven, one of hell, and five of something in between, it’s safe to say that I am in a better place.

I’m currently focused on the business, which will be crazy hard work but something I know will pay off. Long term goals include having one or several restaurants especially designed to bring in the crowds. PERHAPS (Notice all-caps) returning to school once I’m well established financially in order to learn music in detail. Performing the songs I/we have written and will write in front of thousands, hopefully around the world.

As for who will be buttoning my hard-to-reach buttons? Or scratching my hard-to-reach itches? No clue. Nor am I in a state to care at the moment. My 20 is away from the o’nuts of the world.

I am happy being me.

obscure and faded

2008-12-20T07:40:00.000-08:00

I never realized until now how insufferably manipulative you truly are. Anything out of your control is considered a threat and must be annihilated. It's no wonder I strayed so far from you. Constantly walking on eggshells placed strategically over a tight rope. Staying late at work just to avoid feeling the anxiety of something I did in dissonance with your law. And yet, when you disrespected my wishes, I was the one reprimanded or even ignored.

If only they knew the truth. Not to say that I didn't have my own issues, far from it. But to destroy my self-worth and claim self-righteousness proves that no bottom is too low for you. One day they will see. You will be exposed and no one will believe your perfectly calculated tears. You will be alone just like her, and only then will you realize how you treated me.

Somehow I still feel as though I should apologize as I have so many times before. If only I knew why. I guess I could never be consumed by hate or any feeling of hostility. Yes. I forgive you as well. Even now, as I know what you are planning to do in the near future, I still forgive you. Of course, I could never tell you in person because that would be outside of your control realm.

But I know you are reading and my conscience is clean.

it's official: diablo

2008-11-08T12:40:00.000-08:00

Well, it's all mine and you can't have it. Why? Because I earned it. It doesn't belong to you, I don't owe you a damn thing, and you have no right to use it as leverage. Although you can sure as hell try Froman. You have it rough, you say? Don't care. As I said before, I will still do as promised. But I don't want to hear from you, and much less ever see you again. This so-called bridge is burned...you burned it. Have a nice life, oh and go to hell.

moving...blah

2008-10-25T00:07:00.001-07:00

For some odd reason moving this time wasn't nearly as painful and/or depressing and/or protracted. Thanks to Bronson, I was able to move all my stuff in one van and two car loads more or less. I still have the final car load tomorrow. My rent wasn't prorated till tomorrow so I have to spend the night in the old place on my pillow top just over the carpet. Just me, my pc, my pillow top, and some Veridis Quo. My guitar is also here cause BP and I did a Dave Matthews cover Stay or Leave at a friends house. His vocals do well with my guitar. We might start a cover band mostly consisting of Dave and whatever else sounds good, maybe some Phoenix, Shins, Mana and Soda Stereo if he can sing in Espa~nol.

The new place is nice. Wood floors (may or may not be good), twice as big as this one, and rent is cien cheaper. I also didn't need to sell my other kidney for the deposit. Total was within budget, which helps with the purchases for the new business. What business? Tortugas. That's the name that could be used for the new taco and mexican hot dog stand we (my brother-in-law and I) have purchased from my stomping grounds in Guadalajara, Jalisco, Mex. They agreed to ship it to Tijuana, which cuts the drive from 36 to 12ish hours. We also purchased a trailer and are planning on getting a portable sink that happens to be made in LA, which will be easy to stop by and get after TJ. After we're somewhat set to start, the plan is to go to local and not-so local events to see how it goes. Hopefully well.

One day being alone might end. Who will it end with? Do I even care anymore.

spontaneous pneumothorax III

2008-09-08T11:56:00.000-07:00

The healing process has taken much longer than before, however, my hospital visit was just as long. Obviously my last week-long visit to Jordan Medical was a joke because there was no surgery, only several X-rays and a missing pulmonologist. I was very well taken care of this time and it was refreshing to see the nurses actually knowing the use of the instruments that surrounded me during my stay at the IMC.

The overall procedure that should be permanent was called a VAT Pleurodesis. A Video Assisted Thoracotomy, which is essentially when the medical team roughs up the inner and outer lung enough that scar tissue becomes the adhesive. I was also told that the blebs, or bubbles in my inner right lung have been slit open and stapled shut. There is however, a 20% chance that my left lung could collapse due to the right one's history of collapses. I will definitely pray for a swift death if that happens. Seriously.

Because the surgery was endoscopic or "Video Assisted," I have been able to recover much faster than had my chest been sliced open for all to see. The scars are a little unusual but basically I have one below my right breast that is in the shape of a + more or less. I call it my arrow wound. This is where the half-inch by twelve inch tube used to drain the fluids out of my lung was located. The next one is located below my arm pit and I call it my bullet wound because it looks like I took a .39 caliber bullet to the side. I imagine it was the endoscope's nesting home during the procedure. The final scar is about an inch long knife-stabbing wound in the back. Possibly the entrance for the sterilized instruments? I've tried to come up with cool stories that could explain the damage but none seem adequate. "My lung collapsed and was glued" will have to do.

Thanks to my friends and family that visited or called. My love to you all.

sinking, spinning

2008-08-27T11:23:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder when life hits rock bottom if coming back up is worth it? This time, I just might get to see how far it sinks.

#3 most unpleasant blog

2008-08-01T12:40:00.000-07:00

After googling my blog URL, I was intrigued to find out that yours truly has the 3rd most unpleasant blog according to another blogger site known as "blogged."

It was an honor to stand among the wretched and rejected of the blogosphere. I can't even describe the exquisite ecstasy I felt knowing that out of the millions and millions of intolerable blogs round about, mine was numero tres.

So next time you read this know that you are not merely reading simple words, but engaging in verses from the infamous mastermind; Stoic in his Stoic Niche.

post-traumatic shopping spree

2008-06-25T15:52:00.000-07:00

"The past is history, the future is a mystery and today is a gift. That's why it's called the present."

So I've decided to go internet shopping crazy for things I've intimately desired for a long long time. So far, my list of things acquired includes: 22" LCD Samsung Flat Panel Monitor, 1 TB external hard drive, Roland Juno-G keyboard, Motorola Razr V3 with case, DVD software to play movies on my PC with its new kick-ass monitor, and Ender's Game (On the purchase list for a while).

Things left to purchase before summer is over: Electric Guitar with foot pedals, Professional software and hardware for recording and composing, bindings that actually fit, MP3 car stereo, and my very own Nintendo Wii.

I would have to disagree with the old adage. Things really can make you happy.

Now that everything has settled in the clandestine milieu of my life, I feel as though I've been given a second chance to start over. It's time to start what I've been wanting to start and take care of some unfinished business.

Thanks to everyone who has supported me without question. My deepest appreciation for you could never be written or spoken.

spontaneous pneumothorax II

2008-04-01T12:30:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday morning I woke up with a sharp pain in my chest. I was having trouble breathing and as soon as I walked down the stairs, I knew my pneumothorax from 18 months ago had returned. I'm not entirely sure now if it was the same lung but I know if/when it happens again, I will most likely have to have a rather painful procedure that would essentially glue my inner lung to the outer one-permanently.
I was insistent on not going to the hospital until the weekend had past but alas, was forced to anyway. Now I'm thankful, yet staying in this particular hospital (Jordan Medical) for nearly 5 days really placed previously intolerable and damaged experiences to beyond repair. Between the nurses who didn't know how to use the equipment for my lung, the stomach nausea pills? in the middle of the night, and the doctor who we saw on rare occasion, I'd most likely jab myself next time with a nine inch needle, down a bottle of nyquil, and call it a day.
Thanks to my Family, Friends, Priesthood Leaders, and especially my Wife, (who spent the nights by my side on an uncomfortable and squeaky plastic bed) I was able to heal very quickly and escape the catacombs of JM. Thank you all for your visits, love, and kindness!

Some facts on the matter. Enjoy.

Definition: A spontaneous pneumothorax may occur without either trauma to the chest or any kind of blast injury. This type of pneumothorax is caused when a bleb (an imperfection in the lining of the lung) bursts causing the lung to deflate. If a patient suffers two or more instances of a spontaneous pneumothorax, surgeons often recommend a bullectomy. A spontaneous pneumothorax is most evident to people without any previous history of lung disease and in tall, thin men whose age is between 20 to 40 years old. But it can often occur in teenagers and young adults.

Bullectomy: The surgical removal of a bulla, which is a large, distended air space (pleural space) in the lung greater than half an inch in diameter that does not contribute to breathing function. Once the bulla is removed, the healthy air sacs around it have room to expand, and the muscles used to breathe can function better.

Symptoms: Sudden shortness of breath, dry coughs, abnormal breathing movement, rapid respiratory and heart rate, and pain felt in the chest, back and/or arms. If untreated, hypoxia (inadequate oxygen supply to the lungs) may lead to loss of consciousness and coma. The reason for subtle abnormalities in connective lung tissue remains unknown.

Procedure: The way the condition is treated is dependant on its size and course. The objective of treatment is to remove the air from the pleural space, allowing the lung to reexpand. A small pneumothorax will resolve on its own in 1 to 2 weeks. Larger pneumothoraxes require either needle aspiration or a chest tube. Hospitalization is required for chest tube management as the reexpansion of the lung may take several days with the chest tube left in place.

mdj, this one's for you

2008-01-16T13:25:00.000-08:00

Guess spell checker was down...

new home, new neighborhood, no job. win, win...win?

2008-01-13T17:58:00.000-08:00

It's interesting to me how at one moment everything seems to be in place, and yet just around the corner is a complete and unpleasant surprise. Now I know how baby bear felt when he saw some curly blonde brat on his bead after eating his porridge and breaking his chair. I'd eat her, too. Though, I have to say that we have been truly blessed. This past week was filled with thanks as the offer for our dream home was finally accepted. By the end of the week, however, I was out of a job. This was a shock to me particularly since I had no indication that my work was being frowned upon. As far as I knew, I worked constantly and without question. Everything I was assigned was finished on time and I was always willing to lend a hand for extra work. But I do have some theories regarding my dismissal.
Theory #1: Intern in a three month probationary period. After the three months, they realized that full-time employees would be a better fit for the location.
Theory #2: My personality clashed with their imaginary expectations. Perhaps I wasn't as happy-go-lucky as they thought I would be. I work and I do it well, and sometimes I don't have time to be extra nice with people that suck.
Theory #3: I didn't take my peer review seriously enough, which pissed off my regional manager beyond recognition. Chill out woman, it's just a review.
In a way, I'm glad it happened. It was inevitable that I would leave the company before graduation. Granted, my hope was that I'd stayed before graduation, but who can plan these things? I think it was just another stepping stone to help me realize what I don't want to do with my life. I don't really know if I want the porridge anymore, but I'm not worried. There's always a better meal after a long run of broken chairs and empty bowls.

here's your sign...

2007-11-08T07:52:00.000-08:00

I never thought I had a sign above my head that said, "Scam this idiot for all you can and he won't even notice." Apparently I do. A few weeks ago at work, two gay Latin creeps came in and wanted to rent a car. Not just any car, a 2008 Jeep Liberty worth approximately $35,000. One of the creeps hands me his license and I can clearly tell it isn't the same person. I ignore my gut feeling of disbelief and question the license's validity. He counters, "I get that all the time. People tell me I don't look the same now." And of course, I buy it. He hands me a cash deposit of $150 and I accept it without any paperwork. Although I was not trained on the cash paperwork part, I still felt like a total noob. Three weeks later (i.e. yesterday) the Jeep was returned by WVPD filled with refuse but fortunately in one piece.
I guess I learned my lesson. Or did I? Unfortunately, it's not the first time I've been scammed. The sign must be bigger than I thought.

all right stop...vacation time

2007-09-28T07:56:00.000-07:00

So, next week we'll (Melinda, Lindsay, Karl-os, and I) be heading off to the beautiful So-Cal. We're driving next Tuesday night to St. George and then driving the rest of the way early Wednesday morning. The purpose of our trip is to visit the "oh-so-amazingly-magical" Disneyland for 2 whole days and the sweet Magic Mountain for one. My attempts at convincing my handcuff of the mistake in attending a rather large theme park 2 days in a row seemed futile. My guess is that everyone (especially the boys) will be bored and/or tired of walking and re-walking the perimeter of a small city. After our 2 day walk-a-thon we'll be heading to Magic M. where I got a steal for tickets. It has been the theme park I have gone to most in my lifetime (I believe this trip will make it 10 times). I am really looking forward to re-visiting this beloved place, especially after hearing rumors of its possible termination as a theme park at the end of this year. It was planning on closing up shop and selling off the land to real estate developers, however, they've since decided the park is too valuable to the L.A. area and it appears season passes and ticket sales improved for this and next year. No selling afterall...at least until they raise the ticket prices again. If we get a chance, I'll take the crew to my old stompin' grounds in Claremont. Go visit my old work Harvard Square for dinner and enjoy their scrumptious french onion soup and chicken marsala. It is simply the best. It'll be a rad trip and we're all way stolked to go. Like, totally gnarly dude!

finally! i know...

2007-08-08T08:44:00.000-07:00

I'd like to take the time to thank all of you critics out there that love me enough to bug me about updating my blog now and again. Due to recent discussion regarding this issue--with my new and beautiful handcuff--I've decided that today would be the day to end such silliness. I realize the wedding/honeymoon seems like aeons beyond rememberance but some of you haven't seen the pictures, so, without further delay...

Bow Chkka Bowow...

So, married life's great though it is an adjustment. It's nice to love and be loved...even on the scary days.

better together

2007-02-26T14:10:00.000-08:00

green chapstick & daisies

2007-02-16T13:30:00.000-08:00

If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you
Still my heart this moment
Or it might burst

Could we stay right here
'Till the end of time
'Till the earth stops turning
Wanna love you 'till the seas run dry
I've found the one, I've waited for

All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

Wanna stay right here
'Till the end of time
'Till the earth stops turning
Gonna love you 'till the seas run dry
I've found the one, I've waited for
The one I've waited for

All I've known
All I've done
All I've felt
Was leading to this

Wanna stay right here
'Till the end of time
'Till the earth stops turning
Gonna love you 'till the seas run dry

I've found the one, I've waited for
The one I've waited for

music + food + love = muoove

2007-02-08T14:26:00.000-08:00

Tonight I'll be playing at the art show downtown. It was a good experience last year so I thought I'd go for another round. This year, however, I have a new guitar and a much better repertoire. Afterwards, I'll be able to celebrate with my girl at the Melting Pot. I've heard it charges the cost of ten meals plus your first born for one plate. Oh well, celebrating her raise. As of yesterday, she's my unofficial sugar-momma.

riddles of late

2007-01-19T15:16:00.000-08:00

As soon as you say my name, I'm not there. What am I?

offer no.3

2006-12-18T12:30:00.000-08:00

Good afternoon Gentlemen. My name is X and I am the owner/operator of X Records. As you know, we have been friends on MySpace for sometime and I have been investigating your music, I tell ya, you guys are on to something. I would like to offer you a first serve contract for 1 album to start out with, all the perks are included, just to see what we can do together. Let me know what you think about it and get back, so we can work something out.

When asked what exactly was meant by "perks" and such, the reply was:

As far as the offer goes it's pretty simple. Seeing as we are a newer label, we don't have quite the notoriety that the others have. Obviously this is both a pro and a con for us.
Now down to business. 1 album to start off with, probably a short run of 500-1000 cds with accompanying promotion to outlets, independent record stores and over the internet. To see what kind of a stir we can create and then after carefully analyzing our progress with that we will move on to longer runs and more of a regional spread. We are currently working on a deal with a major distributor in the south east and west. But we aren't quite finished with it yet. Now as far as royalties are concerned. We can go with the industry standard of 85/15 (85% to label, 15% to artist) or if you want to be more directly involved in product developement we can work it more into each of our favors. It's all up to you.

This has been the best offer thus far. The company is based out of Florida and seems to portray the most professional qualities we've seen in a new label. We are scheduled to talk with Mr. X over the phone whenever he's ready to get down to business. If we manage to pull a contract, we'll be contacting a lawyer very soon and finally getting our feet wet. A bit odd to think we ever had a chance at this a year ago. Life is good Bro. Rose.

and here it is...

2006-12-05T15:59:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to announce the location of the movie our music will be featured in. The movie “iChristmas” will be showing December 7th at the U of U Languages and Communication Building Rm #1110 at 7:00pm. Admission is FREE. I have attached a map for anyone interested in attending this special event, which is scheduled to last about an hour and a half. Simply enter the name of the building on the side and the map will show where it is located on campus. You are welcome to stay for the duration of the film (under twelve minutes) or for the entire event. Thank you all very much for your love and support!

Also, the song "Santa Faithful" (featured in the intro of the film) is available for listening purposes on our site under the corresponding link. If you'd like a copy, let me know and I will be glad to email you one. Questions? You know where to ask.

Happy Christmas!

offer no.2

2006-11-30T14:14:00.000-08:00

"I like the music on your page and noticed you are looking for a lable, what kinda label you looking for i maybe what you are looking we do parties, clubs, bars, crazy amount of promoton we are a small production company but growing extremely fast and looking for new artist who are about the music first. If you are looking for a millon dollars right now as a signing bonus or something like that then i wish you the best finding it BUT if you are looking for you music to get heard and gigs to be gotton send demos, mixtapes to X as i said we are a small company but powerful. The web page is down at the moment getting rebuilt. It will be back online very soon so check it out when you get a minute. for now i will be using the myspace forum to netwerk. thanks again and keep up the great work."

For a business proposition, this seems to be the least professional I have ever encountered. At least the first offer's excuse was that English wasn't his first language. This little buddy is from Baltimore and probably dropped out of high school to start his so-called "lable." Truly pitiful...an offer nonetheless.

baby steps

2006-11-10T15:15:00.000-08:00

Last month we decided to enter a contest held by Solitude Entertainment Inc. The requirements to enter consisted of sending in as many songs—of any genre—as desired, while the company picked the best and offered their video production services to produce and promote a music video for the song of choice. Well…WE WON. Not sure how many contestants entered but the fact that we stood out from any crowd of performers really boosted the confidence levels. Interestingly enough, the head of the company had, and I quote, “such a hard time choosing one song because they were all good,” that they let us pick the song—out of the ten we sent—for our very own customized music video. In addition to the is-this-really-happening award, we were commissioned to write a three minute ambient/techno/chill song with a Christmas feel for a movie the company will be releasing during the holidays. We have two weeks to produce the song and will be given a script for our music to follow on Monday. I was also informed that the film had already incorporated a few of our songs during the main scenes. Basically, I can’t even begin to describe the feeling of total elation that I experienced yesterday. All day yesterday.

offer no.1

2006-10-13T13:33:00.001-07:00

"i saw u were looking for a label, that means: or your songs are finished and u want money to record it? or everything's ready and u want someone to promote and press it. well we are a belgian label and maybe we can do something for u. ofcourse the recording we can't do for u but release here and everything that has to be done for selling it and airtime and stuff we normally can provide. so if u want to know more, send a mail to X with more info and prob we would need a cd with other songs to to know what we are talking about. we are not a big label we just want to help artists spread and sell their material. we started off cause me and my friend wanted to release our own stuff and we want to help other people to."

Not sure I would want to live in and/or deal with a company overseas. It is an offer however, and a surprising one at that, considering we've only had the sites up and seriously running for five weeks. It's really boosted our confidence on the music and has made us consider getting a manager. Though we would like to jump on the first offer, we have decided to wait a bit and see if anyone else becomes interested. International? Who knew...

musically swamped

2006-10-03T15:39:00.000-07:00

Quite the busy schedule though this and this have been keeping me up late at night. We entered a contest for BPM magazine in L.A. hoping that we'd get some form of response but no such luck...for the moment. Before I head to Cali this weekend for my friend Jason's baby blessing, we'll try to get out a few demos to our favorite electronica record labels. After that, it's up in the air. More demos? More songs? More time? We've decided that if we manage a zero response rate after two demo attempts, we'll be sending in a ten dollar bill in each demo CD for song-listening-motivation purposes. Worth a try...ha! that was unintentional. Any questions, comments, ideas, critiques, suggestions, and/or usurpations on both sites would be greatly appreciated.

SN memo: "Nothing but good can come from this. Nothing but good."